you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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