Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
