I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Mom said you looked used
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I have post one night stand depression
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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