I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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