It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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