my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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