Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
someone owes me an orgasm
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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