i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
