The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
