Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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