i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
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