is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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