I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I need a burrito and a hug.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
