whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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