just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
