I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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