you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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