I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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