When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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