Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
