All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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