so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Vodka?
Forever.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
