can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
