belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
