Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
