Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
