So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
