is your mom at the bar?
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I accidentally had phone sex last night
oh god the rape fog is back!
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
