so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
