8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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