ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
