yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
