I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Randomize
