yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
my liver is dry heaving
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
