We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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