Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
