Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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