I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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