Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
