i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
