I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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