she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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