my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
