dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
third nipple confirmed
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
