I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
