Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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