So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
