so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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