Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
