What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
