it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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