Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
