Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
