Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
