I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i just google imaged poop.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize