I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
