im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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