It's like a parade of train wrecks.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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