I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
