Just cropdusted the office
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
