well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
