i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
So squirting runs in the family.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
