She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
